Where Do I Go From Here?

Okay, so I can be selfish, who isn't at times? I can feel like I am alone, who doesn't from time to time? I can even make my moms death about me, who hasn't felt that way when they are surrounded by grief, like it is all about them? But in the light of day I must realize that its not about me. And there are those who are going through the same thing as I am and some who have things bigger than this to face. But lately I keep fighting the want to die. To leave this world and all the pain behind. Erase all the heartache. Can I do that? Should I? I want to leave here. But do I? Do I allow my selfishness to take hold and allow me to turn away from the pain and sleep forever? I don't know. I just don't know anymore. I feel as if I am suffocating. deep inside there is a fire that burns, a fire that consumes, a hurt that has ripped through my heart and soul. I don't know where to turn. God knows this pain and I have asked for his help. But I cant feel him. Where do I go from here?