Hello from the world of broken hearts and endless wishes. I am Mariea and I will be your guide for the day...
Memorial Day Weekend is at hand. School has dismissed for the summer and I am still here in this whole I shall further refer to as hell. I know, dark stuff. I am currently trying to understand this hell and all I seem to be able to comprehend is that it is... how shall I put this, well its just plain hell. I miss my momma daily, sleeping is a rare luxury for me. I lay down to sleep and I relive the morning dad called to tell me he had found my momma dead. OVER & OVER. No rest for me. The seizures due to lack of sleep drain my body of any ounce of energy I may have had. And I feel alone. Surrounded by family and friends I am alone. HELL.
I know that everyone says it will get better. And somewhere deep inside beneath the screaming voice saying "shut up! I will never stop missing my mom." I know that with time it will be less of a hurt for me. I try to rationalize this daily. Maybe when I have had some sleep...
Anyway on a brighter note, I will have my son home with me for a couple months as he enjoys his summer vacation. Hell seems a lil less scary with him at my side.
Memorial Day Weekend is at hand. School has dismissed for the summer and I am still here in this whole I shall further refer to as hell. I know, dark stuff. I am currently trying to understand this hell and all I seem to be able to comprehend is that it is... how shall I put this, well its just plain hell. I miss my momma daily, sleeping is a rare luxury for me. I lay down to sleep and I relive the morning dad called to tell me he had found my momma dead. OVER & OVER. No rest for me. The seizures due to lack of sleep drain my body of any ounce of energy I may have had. And I feel alone. Surrounded by family and friends I am alone. HELL.
I know that everyone says it will get better. And somewhere deep inside beneath the screaming voice saying "shut up! I will never stop missing my mom." I know that with time it will be less of a hurt for me. I try to rationalize this daily. Maybe when I have had some sleep...
Anyway on a brighter note, I will have my son home with me for a couple months as he enjoys his summer vacation. Hell seems a lil less scary with him at my side.
